Why you can’t will yourself to change (and what to do instead)

Have you ever known something logically, like, really got it, yet still found yourself falling into the same old habit, reaction or emotional loop? That’s not you being weak or lacking willpower. It’s your subconscious mind running the show.

You see, your subconscious is like the vault of everything you’ve ever learned or experienced. Every habit, emotion, belief and response that’s ever helped you survive, fit in or stay safe is stored there. But here’s the catch: the subconscious isn’t particularly interested in updating its files unless it’s given a good reason.

Many of the default settings we live with today, like people-pleasing, avoiding confrontation, overthinking, procrastinating, emotional eating (you name it), were probably useful at some point. They may have helped you cope as a child or navigate a tricky time in your life. The subconscious clocked them as “this works” and filed them under “keep doing this”.

Now fast forward. You’ve grown, your life has changed, your needs have changed but your subconscious didn’t get the memo. So here you are, consciously wanting to do things differently, trying affirmations, motivation, even discipline. But it doesn’t stick. Why?

Because your subconscious has a gatekeeper. This gatekeeper's job is to protect you and conserve energy. It’s not interested in reinventing the wheel. From its perspective, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” And even if you know it's not working, the gatekeeper doesn’t see it that way, it sees “familiar = safe.”

That’s where hypnotherapy comes in.

Hypnotherapy gently bypasses the gatekeeper. It allows us to have a conversation directly with the subconscious, where all those decisions and patterns are stored. In a safe, relaxed state, we invite the subconscious to review the old patterns and come up with something better. Something that actually works for who you are now.

The gatekeeper doesn’t get shoved aside, it gets included. There’s a kind of inner negotiation where your conscious goals, your deeper emotional needs and your safety instincts all sit down together, like a little boardroom meeting. And when they agree on a new, healthier way forward? That’s when lasting change happens.

This is why hypnotherapy works so beautifully for the things you can’t just think your way out of; because it helps you change not just your mind, but the settings underneath it.